Jocelyn

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 13:35:06 GMT

Wedding tomorrow. Eeek!

Eeek

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 17:16:00 GMT

In one week I will be living in Hartford in Park Place Towers.
In a month I'll be married.
Holy crap!

Quick florist rant

Wed, 13 May 2009 04:53:38 GMT

So I finally went to see a florist today about my flowers for the wedding. I had planned to do them myself but recently decided no way. I'm already doing the centerpieces so I don't want to add anymore stress.

My mom and I had a quick visit with a random florist who sounded really nice a couple weeks ago. On the recommendation of my grandfather last week we visited a florist he liked and who had for many years done floral arrangements for our family. We made an appointment with him for this week (today). When we arrived he had nothing for us. I don't know how florists work but I'm assuming since I know nearly nothing about flowers that he'd have a least a few photographs of examples of bouquets he'd done or maybe some flowers to show me based on what I told him I liked. He begins by asking me what I want. I say I don't really know. All I knew was I wanted something exotic like lillies and/or orchids for myself and something simple for my bridesmaids. I also mentioned I didn't want roses. I like roses but I just don't want them for my wedding. Like maybe one big flower with a pretty ribbon and some accents around it. I said maybe a dahlia or hydrangea. He said that no those don't hold up well so he didn't recommend those. I also mentioned I wanted a pretty wrap or some "bling" on my bouquet. I think he assumed I wanted the same on all the bouquets. Even after I mentioned I wanted simple for the bridesmaids. He then goes on to say that he can't do any bling or wraps on just one stem. Then he suggests roses for the bridesmaids. Um..Didn't I mention that I didn't want roses? I sure did. So instead of offering me a more sturdy flower he suggests the one flower I said I didn't want. Ugh. And then he just seemed stuck on it and explained a way to make them more different. So I was like OK fine. Then my mom asks him how much it'll cost. He says $50. For each bouquet. And $75 for mine. Mom then tells him that's way too much. She had just got the estimate for the reception and whoa....Then he says" well if you're already paying that much then what's a little more?" Um....what the hell.....And then he goes on to say that he pretty much doesn't do simple and he can't do anything under $50 and if he did he wouldn't want to put his name on it and that we were already getting them for much cheaper than normal. He just started getting very rude. Then we talk about boutineers for the guys and I mentioned I wanted orchids for those and he says well they have to mach the bridesmaids so they'd have to be....ROSES!!!!! At that point I said lets think about this for a couple days before we decide. Fuck that.

We're going back to the first florist we talked to. Who we spoke to on a walk in who had a wake that night to prepare for. Who took about a half hour to deal with us and show me examples of flowers to put together to make a pretty exotic bouquet. For about a third of the cost of the second florist. And offered me options other than roses. Yeah. We're going back to that guy.

Bahamut photos

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 17:02:12 GMT

I also meant to post some photos of Bahamut. The boy is getting huge. And very vocal. He has to let us know everything he's doing.

I photoshopped this one a bit. I took out his leash and messed with some levels to make it look a little more wild.

The good and the bad

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 16:49:25 GMT

We found out exactly what went wrong with Pandora. Since she went downhill so quickly the owner of the animal clinic we brought her to took an interest in her and did a free necropsy. It turns out she had Pancreatic cancer.
I'm glad to know exactly what happened. I had a minor freak out a few nights ago because I was terrified that I made the wrong the decision.
Her ashes are in but both my mom and I are in no rush to get them.

In other news. Good news. My bridal shower is May 16th. It's a Saturday. Invitations will be going out soon. It's kind of a tea party theme. My mom suggested that and I thought it sounded fun.
Wedding in less than three months. Eeek!

Pandora

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 17:51:15 GMT

Yesterday my mom and I had to put Pandora to sleep. She had been a little off for a few months but we though she was just upset about the new kitten. This past weekend she kind of stopped eating and drinking. My mom found a little bump on her leg and so she figured it was time to bring her to the vet. She brought her on Monday and the vet said she was a little anemic, had a fever and the bump was an infected oil gland. She gave Pandora an antibiotic shot, drained the bump, did some blood work and all was sort of well. On tuesday I guess she got worse. She wasn't eating at all and also wasn't moving around very much. So mom decided to make another vet appointment. I had been in Hartford that whole time so I didn't see how she was. I just kept saying oh, she's fine I know my kitty. Well when I got home on Wednesday and saw her I knew she wasn't fine. I do know my kitty and she was just miserable. At the vet this time, she checks out the bump and it got much worse. It turned into just a hole in her skin. Like I could see straight down to her muscle. They discovered her immune system was compromised and basically attacking everything. I think. There was so much wrong I couldn't think straight. Then they did and xray and found a huge mass in her abdomen. The vet said it's the biggest one she's seen in 17 years. She couldn't tell if it was an abscess or a tumor. She said it most likely was a tumor and that she most likely had lymphoma. She said the only way to tell was through surgery. Which was very costly and even to get to the surgery we had to get Pandora healthy again. Which also would have been costly. So the end result was to put her to sleep. I had my last day with her yesterday. It was a really rough day. I think if we hadn't decided to put her to sleep she would have gone on her on within days. She hadn't had food or water in days. The only way we could get her to have water was to use a little medicine dropper syringe thing to squirt it down her throat. The vet also gave us bigger one to try to feed her with. Pandora threw up what little food we forced into her later that night. So as much as it hurt, it was the right thing to do. I miss that cat so much. I had her for seven years. She was one of the sweetest and gentlest cats I've ever seen. She never scratched or bit out of anger. She wasn't really a lap cat but she had her own ways of showing her love.

I'm glad I have Bahamut to keep me company right now. He spent the whole morning curled up with me purring like a motor.

Whoa!

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 06:55:01 GMT

I get married in less than four months. I'm starting to panic a lot. We still don't have a photographer. I don't know what flowers I'm using. I'm making my own bouquets and centerpieces. I haven't figured out all the special songs. The only song that's been picked is the first dance song. I'm still brainstorming like a million ideas for how to decorate the place. The bridal shower is just being planned now. My mom has decided to plan it because my maid of honor hasn't been very helpful with anything. Meaning, she hasn't done anything to help me so mom figured with this little amount of time left she'd better get it going. Which means I probably have to ask someone else to plan my ladies night out party. I want to go dancing and stuff. My maid of honor most likely won't want to do that because she's pregnant. I'm very sad that I haven't gotten to any of the bride/MoH stuff. I got my dress without her there. I've gone to bridal shows without her. I've done all sorts of wedding stuff without her. I've asked pretty much every time but something always comes up. But I'm not ranting about that. Back to original rant. I still don't know how the cake is going to look. I need a veil and headpiece still. We haven't picked out our wedding bands. All this engagement time has gone by so fast. It's crazy. There were things I wanted to do but probably won't. I know there is so much more to be done. It's so scary. I'm terrified. I bugged Ian for a while to ask me to marry him and now that it's all here I'm terrified of it. I'm also very afraid of wedding day coming and being a great day and then the next just being like "Well, that's done. Now what?" And getting sad that it's all done. I know the "now what?" is baby, but I don't want that for at least another couple/few years. It's just not for me right now. Another reason I am panicky is because I might have a job soon. Just waiting to hear from the place. I know I need a job but it scares me so damn much. The job? A preschool teacher. Ha! Me! A preschool teacher. Who would've thought it? I rocked the interview so I'm pretty sure I'm in. It's just the waiting. Ugh. Back to wedding stuff. I really hope most of everyone we invite comes to the wedding. Especially my immediate family. It would mean so much to me. I would love to have a great fancy affair with my friends and family around. Hopefully with no drama. I think my family means more to me than they realize. I want them to be proud of me. I know some of them don't really care, but I think this is my chance to show them how much I've changed and how far I've come since being a scary quiet little gothy freak. I'm having a totally normal wedding. No goth themes. Me in a white(!) dress, my man in a nice tux, in a fancy place. A totally normal everyday wedding. I guess I just want to feel important. And I want people to have a great time with me and share in how happy I am.

Soooo our kitty likes water....

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 19:08:16 GMT

Over the past few days Bahamut has been watching me do my morning routine perched on the sink. He's also been watching the water intently. Today he decided to play in the water.

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 12:48:18 GMT

So I finally figured out YouTube.
So here's Bahamut playing.

New kitty!!!

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:38:39 GMT

Here's Bahamut.

More kitty stuffs

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 01:37:06 GMT

So here's an odd story about my kitten dealings. So when Ian and I got Jenova her breeder told us her father was a cat from New Jersey named Brutus. I then mention something about a cat I had seen online from a place in New Jersey named Maximo. The breeder lady says that's his brother. I thought that was cool because Maximo is a gorgeous cat.
After Jenova passed I was determined to get another cat related to her. Like almost to the point of becoming unhealthily obsessed. I would spend at least an hour or more for a few night going through cat pedigrees that I found online just looking for either Brutus or Maximo. Maximo was real easy to find because, well, he gets around. Ha. I could not find any cat named Brutus.
I got in contact with Spotacular, the cattery that has Maximo and they had a litter available from Maximo. Cool. So pick which one we want and all is good. Yesterday I was talking with Holly( the breeder) and she asks me about Brutus. So I tell her that's who Jenova's breeder said the father was. Holly sounds confused and says she let Karen (Jenova's breeder) borrow Maximo for a month (see, he really does get around) and she doesn't have a cat named Brutus. Huh. There is no Brutus it seems. Then I realize Karen must have made some odd mistake with names and Maximo must have been Jenova's father. Which leads me to this, we are getting a half brother of Jenova's. So that makes me even happy. So now the impatient wait until the long ass drive to New Jersey on Sunday.
Oh and the name I seem to be stuck on for our boy kitten is Bahamut.
We thought of a few doctor names but they didn't seem to work well.

Kitten take two

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 18:30:58 GMT

Hopefully if all works out, next weekend we will have another Bengal kitten. This time we got a boy. His father is Jenova's uncle. The breeder had a girl Bengal that looked almost exactly like Jenova. As gorgeous as she was I think it would be too painful to have a constant reminder like that of her.
So here's our new kitty. He has no name yet because I can't think of one I like enough. I've been trying to think of a super hero or video game related boy name.

On a good note....

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 05:29:30 GMT

I just got my final grades to see if I was indeed done with my Associates degree. I got all A's and B's.
I am so happy about this. I needed this so bad and I got it :)

Sad news about the best kitten ever

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 03:48:15 GMT

Today our Jenova passed away. Her bundles and bundles of energy were just too much for her little lungs to handle. She was almost four months old. In our short time with her we fell very hard for her and she will be missed.

I'm freeeeeee.....

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 17:50:24 GMT

....at least for now anyway. Today I took the last final of my last semester of my two and a half years at STCC. I think I did OK. Hopefully well enough to pass. I'll find out in a week or two. I know to some this isn't a big deal. It is to me though. Years ago I reached a point in my life where I thought I wasn't going to amount to anything. Ever. I was sadly content with sitting on my ass all the time, playing video games all day and night and sleeping till 2 or 3 in the afternoon. A few years ago I reached an extreme low in my life where I was utterly miserable. But then some stuff happened to kinda change my outlook on my life and I no longer wanted to sit around and do nothing. I needed to do something to further myself. So I did. And I finished it. I've never stuck with anything this serious for this long. When I got tired of a job or it got too hard I quit. School at some points was extremely hard for me but I kept at it.
Now all I need is a job. Eeek.

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:35:25 GMT

So other than having to take two finals next week I am done at my college.The two and a half years spent there went by so quick. In the beginning I viewed it as a new chance to do things different. A chance to make more friends and become more outgoing. That didn't really happen. I talked to some people but never really connected well enough. That makes me kind of sad. I met so many nice people at STCC that I'd love to keep in touch with but I know I never will. I again ended up being the quiet girl. I had a great time there though. Some of the classes were really tough but I made it through. I'm happy that it's done but I am really going to miss it.

Kitty update

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:13:01 GMT

As most everyone knows Ian and I got our kitten a few weeks ago. She is an absolute joy to have around. I'd say she is one of the sweetest kittens I've had. She is also a little fur ball of energy. I was a little worried about how energetic she'd be considering she has a chest deformity. I don't think she realizes she has a problem. She runs and jumps and pounces around everywhere for hours. Sometimes she overdoes it and you can see her little sides heaving from trying to get her breath but she's doing very well. The problem is with her ribs. They more concave then rounded so her lungs can't expand properly. We knew this before we picked her up and the breeder's vet that we got her from said she would be fine. It is very scary at times watching her breath but she does seems fine. I've only seen her open mouth breathe twice. She was a little lethargic a a couple Saturdays ago and I'm not sure why but by the next evening she was better. I think she was having a slight issue with her dry food.
This past Saturday Ian and I brought her to the vet for her second set of shots. I of course mention the chest issue and the vet kind of sighs and goes "ooohhhh...." like she was gonna die or something. He notices she was a little dehydrated which honestly had only been going on for less that a day. She's been really picky with her food so she hadn't been eating it. He notices her heavy breathing but she only really breathes like that when she's stressed or been running around. So I try to mention that but the damn vet really isn't listening at this point. It seems like he was just trying to find a way to proove she was going to be a bad pet or that was she was in bad shape. I tried telling him she's very energetic. He asks if she sleeps a lot. I tell him basicly no more than the average cat. She does take little naps during the day and sleeps all through the night with me but other than that she's busy running aroundand playing. Then Ian tells the vet that the first vet she saw said in her oppinion the kitten would be fine and that the vet has x-rays of her chest if he needs to see them. He then pauses and seems surprised about an optimistic thought about this kitten and doesn't ask for the x-rays. Then he tells us her stomach feels weird and asks if she was dewormed. I tell him yes and show him Jenova's records. So he's convinced there's something wrong with her intestines or something. I even brought some her poo (they told me I needed to bring it..) so they examine it and find nothing. But they deworm her again anyway and give us antibiotic drops for her. They delt with her dehydration by giving her shots or something under her skin. I don't know what they did because they brought her in another room and the whole time she was crying and meowing like crazy and I almost started crying because I could stand hearing her like that. Then they bring her back and say they don't know why she was crying that much, most cats have no problem with it, bla bla bla....Jenova is extremely vocal though. The vet also asked if she had a hard start. We say we don't think so. Because we saw her at two weeks of age and she was fine. She was drinking very well from her mom and walking a bit and meowing. Then we saw her again at a month old and she was walking a lot and meowing very loudly and yes she was small but not emaciated small. I think Jenova is a little smaller than average because she weened pretty early but I'm guessing she's gained a pound since she came home to us. So the vet because he didn't really listen to anything I was saying in her favor, seems to think my kitten is in poor shape and won;t live a full life. He even at one poinr said " I know you fall in love with her but...." it's like what but what? We should never have taken her? No fucking way. We fell in love with this little fur ball before we took her home. I know her issues and I knew them before we brought her home. Yes I get scared when I see her breathing heavily or hear her breathing. Yes I sometimes have a hard time falling asleep at night because I'm listening to her breathe. Yes I wake up a few times a night to check on her and make sure she's OK and still breathing. I knoew accepting her as a pet wouldn't be easy but I wouldn't have it any other way. I've wanted a bengal cat like crazy but I wouldn't trade Jenova for any other cat. And if the unthinkable happens...Then I'll be happy with the time I had with her. I love this little kitten and she means the world to me.
Here's some photos:

Cutest thing EVER!

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 20:09:41 GMT

Kitty cuteness

Sun, 28 Sep 2008 01:46:39 GMT

Here is Jenova!
She will be a month old in a few days and in about a month and half will be home with Ian and I. Well, at first at my home until we move in together. I am soooo in love with this little ball of fur :)

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 18:29:38 GMT

While I am incredibly depressed over a sucky situation with my best friend, I am excited because tonight Ian and I are going to see the Bengal kitten that we are getting in about a couple months. We hope to take pictures so expect adorable month old kitten pictures soon. I can't wait to have her here with me. I think Pandora will be unhappy about it but she'll just have to learn to love the kitten. I'll also have to spoil her a bit more to make the transition easier for her. She's been the only cat for awhile now and I think she prefers it that way.

Hey Ian..This is for you.

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 11:04:55 GMT

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080918/od_afp/franceswitzerlandbritainaviationoffbeat_080918160240

There's also a video on that page on the left side bar under the picture.

Thoughts

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 18:36:46 GMT

I've been thinking lately about how I've changed and grown up a bit over the past few years. There's this one thought I've been going over a lot lately. I used to be a horribly clingy and obsessive girlfriend. Even with Ian for awhile and still even now sometimes. I think (and hope) that I've grown out of it for the most part. I realize this because in my last semester at school now I have classes five days a week and instead of staying with Ian and commuting back and forth I 'm choosing to stay home for the week and see him on weekends and game night. And I'm fine with it. Years ago I would have never been able to be like this without crying everyday over it. But I realize school is my priority right now. If I'm at home and not being distracted by wanting to spend time with Ian I can concentrate more on school. I love spending time with him but I realized I have the rest of my life to spend time with him. I'm moving in with him in about four or five months. What's four months of not seeing him everyday when after that we have out whole lives together? He needs time to himself also before he's stuck with me for the rest of his life. I've been trying to encourage him to see his friends without me around. I enjoy everyone's company but he needs time with his friends without me. I hate it when women won't let their man see their friends without throwing a fit or flat out refusing it. You know what? Lets include men on that too. Some men won't let their women see their friends too. It's incredibly selfish. I used to be like that at times. I have thrown fits when Ian has wanted to see friends without me. And I hated myself the whole time. I knew it wasn't right but I did it anyway. Why? Because I'm afraid of missing out on stuff and I was very needy. I might still have moments where I get like that but I really try my hardest not to. I don't like it and it's not fair. I think it's scary that there are some women/men out there who do that and see nothing wrong with it. I've already told Ian that when we get married I don't want him to feel like he has to give up anything that he had before me. I'm marrying him because I love him and that includes everything in his life now. I'm not marrying him and expecting him to change into someone else. I guess I believe marriage is more like a partnership than an ownership. It seems when some people get married they seem to think that piece of paper called a marriage license gives ownership over their partner and now they can control them and their lives and mold them into what they think is the perfect spouse. Fuck that. I may have my clingy and bitchy moments but I never ever want Ian to change or give up anything he cares about and loves for me. I'd be a horrible wife if I expected that. If he wants to give up or change anything that's his choice. But I will try my hardest to not change him. Well now. That was a mouthful. I know it sounds all angry and stuff but it's just what I feel. OK. With that said, time for me to hoop for an hour.

Soo...

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:02:38 GMT

Ever look at how much you have in the bank and then realize how much shit you have to pay for the month and the shit you have to pay comes up to be more than you have in the bank? That happened to me today. And now I just want to cry. My mom said she'd help me pay for my school books and that kinda makes me want to cry more because while appreciate her help I wish she didn't have to help me out so much. I need a job:(

So this kinda might be a problem

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 17:09:01 GMT

I started my last semester at STCC this week. It's going well so far. I think my optics/ light recording class might suck majorly but eh, hopefully I'll manage. The big thing that might be a problem is parking. There is no on campus parking at STCC for most students. There are four lots around the school though. You have to have a parking pass to park in them. The way one gets a pass is you email the school or go to the campus police building. So I emailed them but no pass yet. I have till Monday to get a pass or else I have no where to park. Yesterday I stopped by the police building and the currently are not giving out parking passes. So I go to park this morning and one of the lot attendants says" you need a pass by moneday or else you can't park here." Lot four is the lot where people with no pass park until they get a pass. That's also been my assigned lot all the time I've been at STCC. So I ask the guy how long it takes from sending the email to getting the pass and he laughs and says "good luck." Then tells me to go to the campus police building to get a pass. I tell him that I tried that and that they are currently NOT giving out parking passes and he tells me that his supervisor has been telling him to tell us to go to that building. I try again to go the police building and before I even got to the door some lady yells " We are only giving out buss passes, NOT parking passes!" So now I'm worried. I really do not want to park on the streets of that area of Springfield. I know it's patroled often but no. Why have lots for students and then make it hard for them to use them?

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 03:27:26 GMT

This week has been a big week for wedding stuff. Yesterday my mother put a deposit down for our ceremony and reception site and tonight I got my dress. Two huge decisions all done now. My dress is soooo pretty. I felt like a princess in it. Now the eleven month wait. Eek. I want it all now.