Wedding tomorrow. Eeek! 

In one week I will be living in Hartford in Park Place Towers. 
In a month I'll be married.
Holy crap! 

 So I finally went to see a florist today about my flowers for the wedding. I had planned to do them myself but recently decided no way. I'm already doing the centerpieces so I don't want to add anymore stress. 

My mom and I had a quick visit with a random florist who sounded really nice a couple weeks ago. On the recommendation of my grandfather last week we visited a florist he liked and who had for many years done floral arrangements for our family. We made an appointment with him for this week (today). When we arrived he had nothing for us. I don't know how florists work but I'm assuming since I know nearly nothing about flowers that he'd have a least a few photographs of examples of bouquets he'd done or maybe some flowers to show me based on what I told him I liked. He begins by asking me what I want. I say I don't really know. All I knew was I wanted something exotic like lillies and/or orchids for myself and something simple for my bridesmaids. I also mentioned I didn't want roses. I like roses but I just don't want them for my wedding.  Like maybe one big flower with a pretty ribbon and some accents around it. I said maybe a dahlia or hydrangea. He said that no those don't hold up well so he didn't recommend those. I also mentioned I wanted a pretty wrap or some "bling" on my bouquet. I think he assumed I wanted the same on all the bouquets. Even after I mentioned I wanted simple for the bridesmaids. He then goes on to say that he can't do any bling or wraps on just one stem. Then he suggests roses for the bridesmaids. Um..Didn't I mention that I didn't want roses? I sure did. So instead of offering me a more sturdy flower he suggests the one flower I said I didn't want. Ugh. And then he just seemed stuck on it and explained a way to make them more different. So I was like OK fine. Then my mom asks him how much it'll cost. He says $50. For each bouquet. And $75 for mine. Mom then tells him that's way too much. She had just got the estimate for the reception and whoa....Then he says" well if you're already paying that much then what's a little more?" Um....what the hell.....And then he goes on to say that he pretty much doesn't do simple and he can't do anything under $50 and if he did he wouldn't want to put his name on it and that we were already getting them for much cheaper than normal. He just started getting very rude. Then we talk about boutineers for the guys and I mentioned I wanted orchids for those and he says well they have to mach the bridesmaids so they'd have to be....ROSES!!!!! At that point I said lets think about this for a couple days before we decide. Fuck that. 

We're going back to the first florist we talked to. Who we spoke to on a walk in who had a wake that night to prepare for. Who took about a half hour to deal with us and show me examples of flowers to put together to make a pretty exotic bouquet. For about a third of the cost of the second florist. And offered me options other than roses. Yeah. We're going back to that guy. 

 I also meant to post some photos of Bahamut. The boy is getting huge. And very vocal. He has to let us know everything he's doing. 


I photoshopped this one a bit. I took out his leash and messed with some levels to make it look a little more wild.

 We found out exactly what went wrong with Pandora. Since she went downhill so quickly the owner of the animal clinic we brought her to took an interest in her and did a free necropsy. It turns out she had Pancreatic cancer. 
I'm glad to know exactly what happened. I had a minor freak out a few nights ago because I was terrified that I made the wrong the decision. 
Her ashes are in but both my mom and I are in no rush to get them. 

In other news. Good news. My bridal shower is May 16th. It's a Saturday. Invitations will be going out soon. It's kind of a tea party theme. My mom suggested that and I thought it sounded fun. 
Wedding in less than three months. Eeek!

Yesterday my mom and I had to put Pandora to sleep. She had been a little off for a few months but we though she was just upset about the new kitten. This past weekend she kind of stopped eating and drinking. My mom found a little bump on her leg and so she figured it was time to bring her to the vet. She brought her on Monday and the vet said she was a little anemic, had a fever and the bump was an infected oil gland. She gave Pandora an antibiotic shot, drained the bump, did some blood work and all was sort of well. On tuesday I guess she got worse. She wasn't eating at all and also wasn't moving around very much. So mom decided to make another vet appointment. I had been in Hartford that whole time so I didn't see how she was. I just kept saying oh, she's fine I know my kitty. Well when I got home on Wednesday and saw her I knew she wasn't fine. I do know my kitty and she was just miserable. At the vet this time, she checks out the bump and it got much worse. It turned into just a hole in her skin. Like I could see straight down to her muscle. They discovered her immune system was compromised and basically attacking everything. I think. There was so much wrong I couldn't think straight. Then they did and xray and found a huge mass in her abdomen. The vet said it's the biggest one she's seen in 17 years. She couldn't tell if it was an abscess or a tumor. She said it most likely was a tumor and that she most likely had lymphoma. She said the only way to tell was through surgery. Which was very costly and even to get to the surgery we had to get Pandora healthy again. Which also would have been costly. So the end result was to put her to sleep. I had my last day with her yesterday. It was a really rough day. I think if we hadn't decided to put her to sleep she would have gone on her on within days. She hadn't had food or water in days. The only way we could get her to have water was to use a little medicine dropper syringe thing to squirt it down her throat. The vet also gave us bigger one to try to feed her with. Pandora threw up what little food we forced into her later that night. So as much as it hurt, it was the right thing to do. I miss that cat so much. I had her for seven years. She was one of the sweetest and gentlest cats I've ever seen. She never scratched or bit out of anger. She wasn't really a lap cat but she had her own ways of showing her love. 

I'm glad I have Bahamut to keep me company right now. He spent the whole morning curled up with me purring like a motor. 

 I get married in less than four months. I'm starting to panic a lot. We still don't have a photographer. I don't know what flowers I'm using. I'm making my own bouquets and centerpieces. I haven't figured out all the special songs. The only song that's been picked is the first dance song. I'm still brainstorming like a million ideas for how to decorate the place. The bridal shower is just being planned now. My mom has decided to plan it because my maid of honor hasn't been very helpful with anything. Meaning, she hasn't done anything to help me so mom figured with this little amount of time left she'd better get it going. Which means I probably have to ask someone else to plan my ladies night out party. I want to go dancing and stuff. My maid of honor most likely won't want to do that because she's pregnant. I'm very sad that I haven't gotten to any of the bride/MoH stuff. I got my dress without her there. I've gone to bridal shows without her. I've done all sorts of wedding stuff without her. I've asked pretty much every time but something always comes up. But I'm not ranting about that. Back to original rant. I still don't know how the cake is going to look. I need a veil and headpiece still. We haven't picked out our wedding bands. All this engagement time has gone by so fast. It's crazy. There were things I wanted to do but probably won't. I know there is so much more to be done. It's so scary. I'm terrified. I bugged Ian for a while to ask me to marry him and now that it's all here I'm terrified of it. I'm also very afraid of wedding day coming and being a great day and then the next just being like "Well, that's done. Now what?" And getting sad that it's all done. I know the "now what?" is baby, but I don't want that for at least another couple/few years. It's just not for me right now. Another reason I am panicky is because I might have a job soon. Just waiting to hear from the place. I know I need a job but it scares me so damn much. The job? A preschool teacher. Ha! Me! A preschool teacher. Who would've thought it? I rocked the interview so I'm pretty sure I'm in. It's just the waiting. Ugh. Back to wedding stuff. I really hope most of everyone we invite comes to the wedding. Especially my immediate family. It would mean so much to me. I would love to have a great fancy affair with my friends and family around. Hopefully with no drama. I think my family means more to me than they realize. I want them to be proud of me. I know some of them don't really care, but I think this is my chance to show them how much I've changed and how far I've come since being a scary quiet little gothy freak. I'm having a totally normal wedding. No goth themes. Me in a white(!) dress, my man in a nice tux, in a fancy place. A totally normal everyday wedding. I guess I just want to feel important. And I want people to have a great time with me and share in how happy I am.

 Over the past few days Bahamut has been watching me do my morning routine perched on the sink. He's also been watching the water intently. Today he decided to play in the water. 

So I finally figured out YouTube. 
So here's Bahamut playing.

 Here's Bahamut.

So here's an odd story about my kitten dealings. So when Ian and I got Jenova her breeder told us her father was a cat from New Jersey named Brutus. I then mention something about a cat I had seen online from a place in New Jersey named Maximo. The breeder lady says that's his brother. I thought that was cool because Maximo is a gorgeous cat.
After Jenova passed I was determined to get another cat related to her. Like almost to the point of becoming unhealthily obsessed. I would spend at least an hour or more for a few night going through cat pedigrees that I found online just looking for either Brutus or Maximo. Maximo was real easy to find because, well, he gets around. Ha. I could not find any cat named Brutus.
I got in contact with Spotacular, the cattery that has Maximo and they had a litter available from Maximo. Cool. So pick which one we want and all is good. Yesterday I was talking with Holly( the breeder) and she asks me about Brutus. So I tell her that's who Jenova's breeder said the father was. Holly sounds confused and says she let Karen (Jenova's breeder) borrow Maximo for a month (see, he really does get around) and she doesn't have a cat named Brutus. Huh. There is no Brutus it seems. Then I realize Karen must have made some odd mistake with names and Maximo must have been Jenova's father. Which leads me to this, we are getting a half brother of Jenova's. So that makes me even happy. So now the impatient wait until the long ass drive to New Jersey on Sunday.
Oh and the name I seem to be stuck on for our boy kitten is Bahamut.
We thought of a few doctor names but they didn't seem to work well.

Hopefully if all works out, next weekend we will have another Bengal kitten. This time we got a boy. His father is Jenova's uncle. The breeder had a girl Bengal that looked almost exactly like Jenova. As gorgeous as she was I think it would be too painful to have a constant reminder like that of her. 
So here's our new kitty. He has no name yet because I can't think of one I like enough. I've been trying to think of a super hero or video game related boy name. 

I just got my final grades to see if I was indeed done with my Associates degree. I got all A's and B's.
I am so happy about this. I needed this so bad and I got it :)

 Today our Jenova passed away. Her bundles and bundles of energy were just too much for her little lungs to handle. She was almost four months old. In our short time with her we fell very hard for her and she will be missed. 

....at least for now anyway. Today I took the last final of my last semester of my two and a half years at STCC. I think I did OK. Hopefully well enough to pass. I'll find out in a week or two. I know to some this isn't a big deal. It is to me though. Years ago I reached a point in my life where I thought I wasn't going to amount to anything. Ever. I was sadly content with sitting on my ass all the time, playing video games all day and night and sleeping till 2 or 3 in the afternoon. A few years ago I reached an extreme low in my life where I was utterly miserable. But then some stuff happened to kinda change my outlook on my life and I no longer wanted to sit around and do nothing. I needed to do something to further myself. So I did. And I finished it. I've never stuck with anything this serious for this long. When I got tired of a job or it got too hard I quit. School at some points was extremely hard for me but I kept at it. 
Now all I need is a job. Eeek.

So other than having to take two finals next week I am done at my college.The two and a half years spent there went by so quick. In the beginning I viewed it as a new chance to do things different. A chance to make more friends and become more outgoing. That didn't really happen. I talked to some people but never really connected well enough. That makes me kind of sad. I met so many nice people at STCC that I'd love to keep in touch with but I know I never will. I again ended up being the quiet girl. I had a great time there though. Some of the classes were really tough but I made it through. I'm happy that it's done but I am really going to miss it.

   As most everyone knows Ian and I got our kitten a few weeks ago. ( Read more... )

 

Here is Jenova!
She will be a month old in a few days and in about a month and half will be home with Ian and I. Well, at first at my home until we move in together. I am soooo in love with this little ball of fur :)

 

While I am incredibly depressed over a sucky situation with my best friend, I am excited because tonight Ian and I are going to see the Bengal kitten that we are getting in about a couple months. We hope to take pictures so expect adorable month old kitten pictures soon. I can't wait to have her here with me. I think Pandora will be unhappy about it but she'll just have to learn to love the kitten. I'll also have to spoil her a bit more to make the transition easier for her. She's been the only cat for awhile now and I think she prefers it that way.